Random Quote of the Day

SFX: Shop door with bell, opening and closing

Customer (clearly and idiot): Morning, squire.

Clerk (Patient and wise): Morning, sire.

Customer: I'd like a videocaster, please.

Clerk: A video recorder. Any one in particular?

Customer: Well, I'd like to have some specifications...

Clerk: Yes?

Customer:...and functions. I must have some functions.

Clerk: I see. Did you have any model in mind?

Customer: Well, a friend mentioned the Airee-Keeri-Kabuki-uh-Kasumi-uh watchamacallit. You know, the Japanese one, the 2000. 'Cause I'm very technically minded, you see.

Clerk: I can see that.

Customer: So I want mine with all the little bits on it. All the Japanese bits. You know, the 2000.

Clerk: What system?

Customer: Uh, uh, well, electrical I think, because I'd like to be able to plug it into the television. You see, I've got a Japanese television.

Clerk: Have you?

Customer: Yeah, I thought you'd be impressed. Yeah, the 2000, the Oki-Koki 2000.

Clerk: Well, sire, there is this model.

Customer: Yeah, looks smart, yeah.

Clerk: Eight hours per cassette, all the functions that the others have, and I know this will be of interest. A lot of scientific research has gone into making it easy to operate...

Customer: Good, yeah.

Clerk:...even by a complete idiot like you.

Customer: Pardon?

Clerk: It's a Phillips.

Customer: Doesn't sound very Japanese.

Clerk: No, a Phirrips. I mean, a Phirrips. It's a Phirrips.

Customer: Yeah, it's a 2000, is it?

Clerk: Oh, in fact it's the 2022.

Customer: Hmmmm...no. Hasn't got enough knobs on it. Nope. What's that one over there?

Clerk: That's a washing machine.

Customer: Yeah? What? It's a Japanese? (Fade-out)

Anncr Vo: The VR 2022. Video you can understand. From Phirrips.