Uppers, Downers, Hallucinogens....?

Being a little useless today, a little frustrated, slightly productive. I've been thinking about things that cause me emotional stress today, like siblings who think I'm being manipulated and hate my manfriend's guts and think that my relationship with him is akin to something from Jerry Springer, which REALLY pisses me off. I've had weird sleep lately and I can't seem to focus, procrastination seems to be a constant companion of mine as of late. I'm really frustrated with myself, every time I think I have the strength to stand up for my feelings I begin to cower and fold into myself once the opportunity arises. I've been blamed for some ridiculuous things, and I haven't thought about this for a while, I don't have the energy to worry about all this shit and school at the same time.

DAMNIT! I don't like being depressed or down, I like being my happy-go-lucky self, I like making stupid jokes, and laughing at all sorts of things, I like being funny, and I like not having to worry about shit like this. I know I'm a little vague on what this "shit" is, but you get the idea. I've gotten very tired all of a sudden, and I need to finish writing my essay because I've been putting it off long enough. I figure I'll feel better about myself if I'm more productive than I have been. There isn't too much left in the year, I just need to stop complaining and get everything that needs to be done done. That's the best solution I have...because I'm apparently too young, and too stupid to know what I need to do, to know what my priorities are.

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me :)